Some Updates [Thoughtful]

OMG...I haven't updated the webjournal for a while. If you were looking at it, I am really sorry about that. I am overwhelmed by all the writtings, preparing for the coming job hunting. At the same time, we just had a paper submitted. So it's a lot of work.

Basically I am working on a research plan. I stayed in the library most of my time even during the weekends. At this stage, I think it's in a pretty good shape. I believe if I like it, it's probably pretty good. I am now need to sharpen it more.

I am in a very unstable stage of my life. But on the other hand, it means chance and opportunity that nobody knows what will happen. I have to put all the anxious on the back of my mind and just do what I have to do.

Weiwei posted @ 19:56:39 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (0)

MIT's Freshman Convocation Speech [Thoughtful]

I just came across MIT's freshman convocation speech by President Susan Hockfield. When I got Yale seven years ago, she was the Dean of Graduate School and professor at Yale's Biology. I still remember the reception at her place. She gathered all the students there from China and took a picture with us.

Here is her speech. It's really a good one!

Weiwei posted @ 07:21:41 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (0)

Xiaoxiao's Jump [Thoughtful]

After Xiaoxiao and Chi came back from Hawaii, they post lots of pictures on facebook. I just came across this one in which Xiaoxiao was in the middle of jumping from a rock. This is a very cool shot and I laughed at Xiaoxiao's funny posture. But importantly I was so touched by her jump. I can feel the tremendous courage and joy she has for the life.

I am grateful to have friends like them around me - they always smile and are always brave.

Weiwei posted @ 08:40:33 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (1)

A Little Bit More Caring [Thoughtful]

Everyone was shocked by the tragedy in VT at the beginning of the week and everything has been blended with sorrow. This is not only because I have friends and former professor at VT but also because I am a person belongs to campus.

This makes me to think people around me in different campuses through out my life. I can really think of someone who might need some help at the time - a little bit more attention or caring. But in fact everyone just basically ignored or wouldn't think it as a big deal. Of course most of the time, it would be fine. Everyone can find a way and have a life. But in rare case, it becomes tragedy.

Yes, we are all busy. We are all trying to have a life - a better life. But more of the time we are too busy to pause and look around. A little bit more caring should be given.

Peace to those who lost their lives!

Weiwei posted @ 21:40:55 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (0)

Research VS. Photography [Thoughtful]

Last week when I was interviewed by Yale Bulletin, Susan asked me the question of how I started my 'scientist career' (even I never have the idea that I am a scientist). This brought me the memory of many years ago when I was in middle school, Shenshen, Rui and I were so obssessed with chemistry that we even set up a chemistry lab at home. We are lucky to be able to choose what we love to do afterwards, especially in China where education is tremendously competitive. We all end up having our Ph.D in US after these many years.

A friend of mine recently reminds me of the possible 'negative' effect of the coming photo exhibition to my future academia career. Are taking nature pictures and doing science really incompatible? I keep asking myself how much fun is there in research? And this is why the above very old story came back to my mind.

Recenly I read blog of a friend. He recently had a master degree and became a chemist in a small company in New Jersey. The work is easy and he is planning to buy a house. At the end of his blog, he said 'the life is damn good'. I can help but ask myself - what is the last time I said 'life is damn good'?

Many many moments of I took pictures in the field came to my mind. And I realize those moments not only gave me joy and valuable memory but also gave me strength to tackle the difficulties in research. I still remember a dive in West Palm Beach. After I surfaced, it was pouring and the boat was far far way, just in the size of a match box. I filled my safety sausage and then started to review the turtle shots I just had 60 feet below. What surrouding me were shouting storm and 5 feet surf. And I said - life is damn good!

I told Susan that in the research I am a photographer too - taking pictures of atoms on the material surface. It's amazing!

Weiwei posted @ 10:08:54 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (0)

Do We Need to Live With Soul? [Thoughtful]

I remember a conversation in Sex and the City, when Carrie was dating a man who worked on documentary film of seagulls and then switched to money hunting in Manhattan. "So what about the seagulls?" Carrie asked. The guy answered "...f**k the seagulls...". It's not supprising to learn living with soul in Oprah show but I am so supprised to find out this morning that even Murray show starts to talk about how to live with a soul by telling you the story of people who came across the tragedy.

Recently I have many friends who are looking for jobs. Every of them has a unique story. I am also spending a lot of time, trying to figure out what I am going to do in the future. When people are trying so hard to look for the next step in their life, what exactly do they want to achieve?

Weiwei posted @ 09:27:50 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (0)

I Thought About 'Sex and the City' [Thoughtful]

It's been a long time since I watched 'Sex and the City'. Recently more and more local TV chanels starts to play the show. I still find it's very entertaining.

I have been thinking there should be something besides 'entertaining'. I just find out that it's trying to tell that 'relationship' should be a super natural thing between people - no matter friends or lovers. If you try to persuade yourself to like or love someone, it's not going to work. So just relax in a relationship. It doesn't matter if with your friend or your lover. Let it be what it should be and just relax.

I am not good at talking about this and it's just some of the random thoughts

Weiwei posted @ 15:18:35 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (0)

First Snow of 2006 [Thoughtful]

I have the special feeling to the first snow of each year and I do not why. Maybe it's just the beginning of a new season or the sign for a whole new year. It lets me feel good. We had the first snow today here in Boston.

I have been watching a lot of shows recently - I finished Sex and the City, Six Feet Under and Nip/Tuck and I am following Desperate Housewife and Grey's Anatomy recently. People are desperately struggling with their lives - not merely for living but for moving forward to a higher level. Meanwhile all of us are trying to enjoy and have fun.

Weiwei posted @ 19:00:32 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (0)

An Old Picture [Thoughtful]

I've been looking for a scanner to scan some old pictures onto the website. Here is the one I did first. This is the picture taken five years ago during the new student orientation at Yale. Many of the people in the picture left before they finish for many kinds of reason. Time is fleeding.

Weiwei posted @ 20:37:01 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (2)

Ideas of New Work and Updates [Thoughtful]

Hui emailed me and said my journal changed into a weekly news. I am sorry I could not update the journal as often as before. I still feel that I need more time to settle down.

I am now working on a new STM-analysis system. There are some instruments need repair and I need to get familiar to use them. Moreover I am doing a lot of literature reading and trying to set up my own literature library. I am not quite sure yet about my specific project but it should be on the field of nano clusters/structures on Au surfaces.

Since I am dealing a lot of instrument repair recently, I feel so lucky that I would work with professors like Eric and Vic for my PhD, who really WORD with you in the lab. It's not really important how many papers you can have but they really teach you how to do the job and keep things moving forward. There are lots of things to read and learn.

I am in the city and the winter is coming. So probably I will not have too many updates on the pictures. Hope you guys could shoot me an message and tell me what's going on.

Weiwei posted @ 10:31:09 || Cambridge, MA || Comments (0)

Private Entry [Thoughtful]

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Weiwei posted @ 15:46:03 || New Haven, CT || More About Private Entry  

What Is Sad About Life? [Thoughtful]

I watched the first four seasons of the HBO show Six Feet Under. I do not really like it that much because it is just way too dark. But it still makes me thinking about something. Have you ever thought about if the life goes WRONG?

There are people dying - murder, illness, accident; there are people getting lost - in love, in work, in the crowd of people. But life is still going on. You know you will die - sooner or later; You know you are getting lost - because you don't know what's the point to live. But you still need to do what you are supposed to do - no matter you think it's trival or not. So it's really hard to say what has higher priority in you life - you have to deal with them equally - that's sad.

Weiwei posted @ 09:19:07 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

Updates [Thoughtful]

I stayed pretty much long time in bed today because I was so exhausted after yesterday's diving. Not just because of the diving but because since the beginning of the summer I had went out nearly all the weekends. It's kind of exhausting if the weekend is always occupied. I was going to watch the US Open men's final obviously it's not the most important thing. It's September 11th and New Orleans is still in the water. People are looking at the damages both nature and human can make to this world. Not too many people caring about the tennis game.

Seems like most entries I put here recently are about diving. Because I really cannot find too much interesting things to talk about. I am working on my thesis. You know what you've done and you have the paper. So the thesis work is really boring. Moreover, I am looking for an apartment in Cambridge. It's expensive and kind of frustrating.

I am trying to think about all the positive aspects of the new job but still cannot feel very much excited. People in the TV are memorying the event 4 years ago. This brought some of my old memory. I put here a picture taken more than 4 years ago on Ellis Island with the background of Manhattan skyline - not very long before the twin towers disappeared.

Weiwei posted @ 09:57:10 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

General Updates [Thoughtful]

I can not believe it is September - the summer is gone even before I fully noticed. There are only less than two months left before I left Yale.

Things are going smoothly. I almost finish my thesis draft. It is much easy than I had thought. Maybe mostly because for an engeering student, thesis is not that critical. People only look at what kind of papers do you have. I still have some experiments to do. This is probably what I need to put more effort in the next few weeks.

People are excited when they are opening a new chapter of the life. I am excited too but can not help thinking that after two months, I will not be a student anymore. This new chapter means a greater responsibility for me. When you are a kid, you want to grow up quickly. When you are a grown-up, you always want to stay young.

But I am glad I am basically doing what I really like to do everyday. At some point when I have to choose the future, I can figure out a sharp idea within some time and will not be lost. I have chances to set challeges by myself and do all my best to accomplish it. I should appreciate all of these.

Today I read this year's frshman address by Dean Peter Salovey on Yale Bulletin. I think it's a very good artical. I add a link here.

Weiwei posted @ 20:15:44 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

The Big Wave Surfer [Thoughtful]

Today's NATURE is talking about a historic big wave that happened in Hawaii in January 1998 and some world top surfers' life-changing experience. Every time I watch NATURE, I am always get extremely touched. Compared with the power of nature, how tiny our human beings are. But what a big heart human beings have to try very hard to conquer the nature.

I signed up the trip to North Carolina in July. This will be my first real photo as well as diving trip. Before that, I need to buy the housing and the strobe. I have had this dilemma for a long long time: besides the cost of the expensive diving trip, not to say how much I need to pay for the housing. Life is just like a big machine. Sometime I feel it's really hard to run every part to its perfection. But I am trying my very best. Whenever I experience a breath-taking moment, all the hard work is paid off.

Weiwei posted @ 18:36:56 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

The First Anniversary of ATWEIWEI.net [Thoughtful]

Today is the first anniversary of atweiwei.net. The website reminds me almost every detail of my life in the past year.

Everything starts from the photography. It brings me a whole new experience - basically a life style by observing the world through the lens. Though there is still a long way to go - I am excited because it's a way full of explorations.

Diving and photography are expensive hobbies. However they give me a wonderful experience to learn how to build and develope part of my life - amid all the complexities and from ground zero. It also powers me up to build my everything else - career, future and most important how I define myself.

To everyone with my best wishes - be happy and be fabulous!

Weiwei posted @ 09:36:17 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

Weekend Update [Thoughtful]

I actually did not feel very bad this weekend as the past several weeks because I gave a thorough thought to everything. Sometime things are not bad at all. Maybe I should be more calm and patient.

In order to make my daily work productively busy, I set up a seperate new web log for my daily plan. I decide to spend several minutes everyday to plan what I need to do the next day. I used to do this on a notebook but just did not keep it for very long time. Now I hope I can do it longer after I switch to a digital version.

I have last two competitions left at New Haven camera club. I prepared the last four entries yesterday and was really enjoyed. It's really a good feeling to see your hardwork turn out to be a beautiful picture.

I went to Edgerton Park today. I know spring comes. But there is not too much yet. Lots of people were preparing their gardens. It will be very beautiful soon.

I finished grading the last homework today and basically finished my TA work for the semester. It's not a big job and it's the only hint for me of the end of the semester.

I start to read Middle Sex by Jeffrey Eugenides. It's really a great novel. The problem I have right now is it has so many new words for me and they turn out to be very much frequently used. So it's a very good read. I will tell you more after I finish.

Weiwei posted @ 19:04:18 || New Haven, CT || Comments (2)

Private Entry [Thoughtful]

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Weiwei posted @ 15:57:32 || New Haven, CT || More About Private Entry  

NHCC Competition, Cake and Random Thoughts [Thoughtful]

Tonight I got again the first and the second prize of snapshot category in New Haven camera club. I really like those two shots. But I think they are a little bit too static. This reminds me last week in the Boston Sea Rovers. "Taking pictures that are moving!" There is still a lot that I need to learn.

Liu Shan gave a piece of cake today. She emphasized that this was the first time she made cake. Actaully it's very good. It does not taste too sweet and the all kinds of nuts just made it delicious. Thanks a lot! (I had thought to put a picture here but I do not have a good plate to hold it.)

I tried not to sit in front of the computer too long. And I need to spend more time in the lab but the office, even though sometime I don't have too much to do. It's not a very easy time right now but I need to get through.

Weiwei posted @ 19:59:47 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

What People Like to Do? [Thoughtful]

Wow...the temperature hit near 50 today. Eventhough piles of snow are still there, people start wearing short pants. This is pretty interesting, which reminds me the thanksgiving experience two years ago in Miami. We met some cold air there and the tempetature dropped from near 90 to 60...well which was still okay for us who came from New England. But we just found out that many people over there started to wear the winter coat...I guess that's because they did not have too many chances to wear a winter coat.

Another interesting thing. Do you know which state in US has the most ski club? It's not Maine or Colorado but Florida. Do you know which state has the most diving club? Not Florida but Colorado. Well people like to do the things they actually do not have too many chances to do. That's interesting.

Weiwei posted @ 22:32:48 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

TA ME285 - A Sad Evaluation [Thoughtful]

It is until today that I saw the evaluation of my TA for ME285 of last year. Well I feel pretty sad. It's hard to say that I got much positive comment. Everyone said that I was an "extremely harsh grader". The professor mentioned to me that the students thought I was a little bit too harsh to their homeowork. I thought it might be okay but did not think that everyone had that much strong comment.

I asked Min and Hui about what I should do. Well they told me that the golden rule is to give them score as high as you can so they will feel much better for their hard working homework and generate good impression. Hmmm...I think I already gave as high as I could!

I do need to have more interactions with the students. I was really really busy in 2004, trying all my best to do everything well. Sometime, people say: "Weiwei, excellent, you did a good job!" Well sometime you hear "Weiwei? hmmm...he did not contribute too much...not accessible!" Kind of frustrating...Well the only thing that I can say to myself is :"hey...WW...work harder!"

Weiwei posted @ 20:28:14 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

All Meat, Speed Dating and Valentine's Day [Thoughtful]

Zhao Ying came back from China and brought a lot gifts to everyone. They are all nice traditional Chinese snacks. Everyone gets some cakes, cookies except me - all I have are meats...hehe...well everyone knows that I like to eat meat...well I do need to change my diet. Everytime I talk to my mom and she always asks me to eat more vegetable. Well I am trying...

Hui-Ju sent me a very interesting email telling her and her roomate's experience of speed dating several days ago. Her email is so interesting that I do not want to leave it in my mailbox. So I made a link here. You can read it even you have no Chinese on the computer.

What she tells me is exactly the same as the scene in the Hitch. I watched the movie with Xia and Shan last weekend. It's so funny. I just did not think the speed dating was really very popular...hehe...well it reminds me the word in the movie - "What the hell is the reason that people are so hard to fall in love?" - "they just do not have the chances to understand each other" - well maybe that's just the so called "destiny".

hehe...Happy V Day!

Weiwei posted @ 21:39:46 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

Meet With Sandia [Thoughtful]

Well it's hard to say it's an interview because the people from Sandia is just to collect the resumes. I start to realize that the PhD job searching is totally a need-based interaction. If there is an opening, there should be no problem to hire you. But if not, nothing more to say.

I sent out a bunch of resumes to companies that I am interested with. For quite a long period of time, there should be opening I believe. So I am pretty optimistic with that. But I do not know what will happen eventually - I will cross the finger.

Well looking for a job means to start a new life...that's kind of exciting.

Weiwei posted @ 19:55:15 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

Random Thoughts [Thoughtful]

This is already the third week of the new semester. Everything gets started. What I am feeling about the life is a little bit different. Most likely it is because of the graduation - you are facing the choices. But it is more accurate to say that the future is unpredictable. I will have a job interview very soon. It sounds pretty cool.

Several other cool things are happening. I am working on a flash movie showing some of my pictures. It will be presented on Februray 14th at the New Haven Camera Club. It is a movie with both narration and the background music. It will be very cool.

I will go the Boston Sea Rover in March - that's really a cool program. Most likely I will have a diving trip in coming July in both North and South Carolina. It will be very cool.

p.s. I am working for the Yale's International Society Projects. People like to talk about work but not money. I think I am right to get paid. Should I feel shame to ask for money? - nay....

Weiwei posted @ 17:01:34 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

The Summer Is Gone [Thoughtful]

I think most of the people in New England area are frustrated by the long long winter time. I called the dive shop this afternoon. Obvisously almost no people are interested in diving now - even it's really a gorgeous day today. Well there is nothing I can do about it. Unless you really like to the adventure part of diving, you won't like to dive in such a cold season.

The autumn foliage season is coming. The foliage is of peak in the whole Vermont area. I doubt if there is significant difference between the foliage in Vermont and that in Connecticut. But obviously the foliage in Vermont is much more famous. I am planning a trip to Vermont this weekend. Well if you have any idea, let me know.

Weiwei posted @ 22:34:13 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

Keep Everything Rolling [Thoughtful]

I am trying to push myself on everything I am doing - 'stretching' might be better.

As to the experiment, even though we are having trouble on both chambers, I managed to make the project running and solve the problem one by one.

I finally got the permission for this semester's teaching fellow. The course I am TA-ing is not the usual homework-grading system. The students will have to finish big design projects. So I will have good chance to communicate with the students.

There will be a new project for the ISIE website. The institue will have their election soon and this time they want to do it via the internet. I am glad to see the web can provide interface for people all over the world. Most important it solves the heavy paper work. I am okay to handle the work but it will take some time.

Besides those projects, I am preparing the prints for the camera club competition. I ordered an Epson R800 printer today. I hope it will save me some time and give me better results.

Let's just keep everything rolling!

Weiwei posted @ 22:06:42 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

Some Random Thoughts [Thoughtful]

I did not put any entry to my journal for several days. I was a little bit depressed recently because I found myself busy but not productively busy recently. The experiment is not going very smoothly - I know this is pretty much normal, but with the time is flying away, I feel kind of empty.

Like every Olympic Games before, I paid pretty much attention to this one. This time, I am trying to imagine how an Olympic exprience will affect the athletes - some people would win, maybe the best winning in their life time; some people would lose, maybe the biggest regret in their life time. It's actually very hard for an audience like me to really understand the taste.

I remember when Amanda Beard was interviewed after her swim, she was very happy because she thought a silver medal was actually a 'bonus' for her first Olympic competition. Her smile showed that how much fun she had had. But for Pelps, there is no fun for him even he could get 6 gold medals.

Weiwei posted @ 21:48:00 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

MSN With My Parents [Thoughtful]

My Mom set up an MSN messenger at home today. This has been the first time in three years I see the face of my parents, which is kind of depressing. This made me thinking of what I am doing everyday. It seems that I gain a lot from what I am learning, what I am doing and what I am expriencing. But I also clearly realize what I am sacrificing. I am always thinking one should not live without challengen. But one thing is really hard for everyone: to see our parents become older and older everyday.

Weiwei posted @ 20:55:37 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

The Old Goodies [Thoughtful]

I was working on an old vaccum pump today. The tag on it showed that the last time it was serviced (something like to be cleaned, oil changed) was April 1985. I have to say this is not really the oldest stuff I saw in the lab. Some of the meters on the shelf with batteries changed in 1968.

Seeing those old stuff, people are used to think about what they were doing at that time. I remember at home when I was still young, Mom sometime pointed a certain piece of kitch utensil and said it was even older than me. And then I always had sort of admiration to it.

But I do sometime feel that I am getting old. Because there are more and more chances you will see people are doing what you have done before: getting into college, driving test, applying for graduate school......So pretty often I feel kind of lost because I do not know what will be left by time.

Weiwei posted @ 19:46:33 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

Jingcheng, Hui and Jeff [Thoughtful]

Hui is my labmate. She is always very kind and always willing to help others. She had her baby, Jeff, this Januarary and lived with her husband, Jingchen, since then. They came to New Haven this weekend to sign a new apartment lease and dropped by the lab.

Hui changed a lot: looks more like a "mother", even though I still think she is a big child. Jeff is getting bigger. He is quiet and very lovely. Jingcheng did not change much.

Jingcheng is working in Brookhaven National Lab. Hui has to come back to work next month. Their parents had planned to come to US but the visa was denied for even God's does not know what reason. They have to ask somebody else they know to bring Jeff back to his grand parents in China so that they can finish their study in US. What a pain it is that a mother will have to be seperated from her new born baby.

The Bush administration always makes things that make no sense. He does not know he has hurt more people under his power then any other presidents that I know. Tomorrow is the graduation day at Yale and he will come to Yale. I saw lots of signs against him. But I don't think he will pay any attention to those - SHAME? I don't think it's in a president's dictionary.

Weiwei posted @ 20:01:14 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

First-time Experience [Thoughtful]

I believe everyone would love there "first experience" of life. Of course I mean the GOOD experience.

Today I recieved the proof reading of the paper I submitted in March. It only took 26 days from submission to the acceptance. That's really fast. This is a first-time experience in my life --- to publish an English paper in a good journal, which I have dreamed since the first chemistry class in middle school more than ten years ago.

Dare to dream and make all the efforts to accomplish your dream. That's the style I like, even though it's much more difficult than it sounds like. This reminds me a mott : "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Weiwei posted @ 21:24:39 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)

Ramble - Vision of Future [Thoughtful]

I submitted the dissertation progress report, in which I proposed to graduate later next year. So it's a little bit more than one year from now. Time is slippering and it's not long at all.

What I am feeling is that I just settled down in a life. The day when I came to US is just like yesterday. But it's time again to think about future. Just not quite used to it. Than a little bit nervous. I am wondering if I have had enough accomplishments to find a good research position? The job market is sort of struggling. I am not sure what I will face in a year.

But I know these are not important. The issue here is that I am not quite sure what I am going to do for the next step of my life. From elementary school to middle school, high school, college and then to pursue a PhD, every choice in the life seemed predestined at my time. However, after PhD in US there seems no definite choice that I have to take.

Maybe there is no choice at all - you know it's just for living. Or maybe there are several choices but I just don't know. I believe I will need sometime to figure it out.

Weiwei posted @ 19:22:22 || New Haven, CT || Comments (0)